He Says, She Says
by Lordess Meep
Summary: The thin line between love and hate was only as wide as a strip of sukonbu. It also served to explain why her philosophical mood always dissipated as soon as she saw him. Class 3-Z setting. Sougo x Kagura.


**A/N: Hello Gintama fandom! I've been a long time reader but this is my first venture into actually expanding the said fandom with a traditional Okita-Kagura in a 3-Z setting. **

**Feel free to point out any inconsistencies since I've just watched the anime and not read the manga. Any suggestions are welcome and constructive criticism is always appreciated! **

**Disclaimer:** Gintama belongs to Sorachi-sensei just like this paper-thin plot belongs to me.

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><p><strong>He Says, She Says<strong>

* * *

><p>She started it this time.<p>

To be fair, it was really he who couldn't keep his comments to himself.

"All hail Mountain Gorilla-sama." He bowed scornfully, almost ruining her ongoing breakfast of one rice cooker filled to the brim with rice.

The remark was a childish one… but then again, she _was_ a child.

She held her tongue briefly and then discarded the now empty rice cooker. She ignored Shinpachi's cries of 'That was our last one, Kagura-chan!' over the sound of the appliance shattering. Cocking her head sideways, she widened her eyes and spoke.

"_Sou-chan_," she began in a sickly sweet voice, invoking his sister's affectionate nickname for him and she could see him going rigid before her, very obviously nauseated. Of course the boy had a very good idea what was about to happen when she was mocking him like this…

"Your fly is open."

It wasn't but it made him look. Not to mention, some thirty other students who were occupying the hallway stared at him, holding in their sniggers.

Kagura skipped off knowing that with him, revenge was hardly far off.

* * *

><p>It happened during the test. Yes, the same test she didn't study for and the same test she was trying to finish up by peeking here and there. She completely failed but she did have a backup plan – begging Ginpachi-sensei and obnoxiously weeping in his face till he gave her an A.<p>

It was foolproof. He was in her debt after all, those times when she had managed to distract Sa-chan to let him escape. She grinned enthusiastically – she was safe.

Honestly, not quite.

Sougo had already finished his paper (of course he had, that stupid genius boy) and was just looking for vengeance. Unfortunately, because of the humiliation she had delivered earlier, Kagura seemed to be his target for the day.

Unbeknownst to her, he was observing her with a glint in his eye as she withdrew Hasegawa's lunch from his tattered backpack and began blatantly devouring it as the poor student concentrated on passing the test.

"Oi, Sensei." Sougo drawled, "China is eating in class again."

Shocked at the sudden revelation of her misdeed, she looked up and glared at him angrily.

Ginpachi seemed occupied in keeping Sa-chan as far away from his being as possible.

"Keep this _thing_ away from me, and I'll drop the charges."

Emptying the contents of the lunchbox into her cavernous mouth, Kagura was intrigued.

"Drop my charges _and_ give me an A on this test!" she negotiated through a mouth full of food.

"Yes, yes whatever you want!" he agreed.

Sa-chan, on the other hand, was unable to contain this rejection.

"Sensei, how can you be so rude to a student who just wants to please you-"

Clamping a hand on her mouth, Ginpachi implored to the most violent individual in class (after that Otae, of course).

"Hurry…" he whined.

Before Sougo could summon his bazooka and blow a hole through the ninja apprentice, Kagura struck. She batted away the girl with her ubiquitous parasol, the act punctuated with a war cry. The bespectacled girl was flung away, leaving a Sa-chan shaped hole in the wall.

Over the disgusting cries of ecstasy, Kagura presented her paper to her Sensei.

"The A, Sensei?"

Ginpachi, being thoroughly in her debt (again), ruffled his silver hair. It was hardly fair to anybody else but she _had_ defended him against his persistent stalker with alarming regularity. He would've loved to slap her away himself but:

The school administration would catch wind of this and proceed to make him scarce

It would encourage _her_ even more

Seeing no other choice, he awarded the girl (all of whose answers were wrong, by the way) with her A.

Kagura, ecstatic at her win, clutched her paper happily. The class, being used to this malarkey, didn't even look up from their tests. All except one. Feeling his gaze boring down through her back as she made her way back to her seat, evidently wishing that she'd go up in flames, she turned around. Sure enough, _he_ was regarding her through crimson eyes, barely containing his frustration at having been had twice in the same day.

She, in turn, felt vastly superior. She adopted a malicious grin, mocking him at his loss, fully aware that somewhere, somehow, he was going to get her bad.

* * *

><p>He didn't notice when it started to happen.<p>

While he was very reserved from the others, Kondo managed to get him and Hijikata together for a brief period during their morning PE classes to talk. More often than not, Kondo's 'talk' was incessant complaining about how a 'friend' of his couldn't get a girl. He and Hijikata agreed on one thing – that 'friend' should stop stalking the (monster) girl in question. This collective declaration was then followed by he and Toushi making excuses to get away – his being his sister whereas Hijikata used his usual baseball/kendo/basketball. He always grinned slyly at Hijikata at the mention of Mitsuba whereas the man ignored him. Being a trained observer, Sougo never missed the twin pink spots that appeared on his cheeks. It satisfied him immensely.

He felt slightly bad for leaving Kondo alone but shook it off when he recalled his irritating ramblings.

He began retreating to the roof where he could get some peace and quiet. He could sleep and collect data for future blackmail purposes. He rubbed his hands in glee – he was in his element, after all.

Unpacking his binoculars (40x digital zoom – he could read a book or lip read people from where he sat), he clinically cleaned the twin lenses, taking care not to scratch the delicate device. He could be unbelievably fastidious about his (spy?) gear.

He unconsciously opened up his journal (of secrets) to 'C' and then flipped to 'Ch'. He trained his binoculars on the same spot as he had started doing of late – right onto a Chinese wannabe. He admired her brilliant vermilion hair first, imagining what it'd feel like fisting his hand into it and pulling viciously. Next were the ultramarine blue irises (which were – thankfully – missing a pair of ugly glasses). He thought about how he'd love to draw angry tears from them. He observed that pale, almost translucent, skin of hers…he would love to see it effuse in a deep red.

Grinning maniacally, Okita Sougo realized he loved being a through and through sadist.

At that exact moment, a strange chill went up Kagura's spine. She put it down as fear and then immediately balked at her behaviour.

Sure she was in an all out baseball match against the opposing boys team but their performance was miserable (thanks to Kondo and Hasegawa being knocked out by the girl yakuza members). This made her all the more edgy.

That sandy-haired bastard seemed to be missing. She interpreted his absence as an omen – a bad, _bad_ omen. Whenever he wasn't in her line of sight, it always felt like something was going to go horribly wrong. More importantly, owing to today's events, she could fully see it as her death knell.

"Throw it, you bitch!"

A raspy voice challenged her as she juggled the ball from hand to hand trying to resist the urge to hurl it straight at that idiot's head.

"That's not the way you speak to ladies, Hijikata-kun."

Hijikata immediately seized up at the polite tone of Otae's voice. Kagura grinned – it had been a grave mistake forgetting about the girl yakuza leader, her beloved Ane-go, who was temporarily filling in for Oryou. Apparently, Oryou and Hanako had taken a time out to 'accompany' Kondo and Hasegawa to the nurse's office (read: make sure they wouldn't wake up till school was out).

Hijikata was an excellent baseball player – he was the captain after all – but the gang of girls scared him. There was really no hope for his team but he chose to persevere. After all, it was he who had personally knocked Yamazaki out cold because he insisted on playing his beloved _badminton_ instead. His concentration on somehow winning was the precise reason he chose to _not_ reply to Otae's veiled taunt. The other reason was, of course, shameless self preservation.

Kagura chose to use his distraction against him.

"Head's up, _captain_!" she shouted out of bravado, throwing the title as an insult.

Hijikata, caught off guard, swept aside to avoid being hit by the fast ball (thank you, super sharp reflexes!) but that only resulted in-

"STRIKE ONE!"

Matsudaira's exclamation from outside the batting cage (since the administration had banned him from coming anywhere near any girls) earned him a death glare from Hijikata. The coach though coolly dispelled it by taking a long drag from an ever present cigarette.

He turned up his nose and faced the pitcher. Kagura was wearing an absurdly huge smile, doubtlessly looking to elicit a reaction from him. Hijikata scowled, ready to chew her out for her behaviour when he stopped and controlled himself. He did have a ludicrously short fuse but he didn't become the captain by losing his temper. He was a brilliant strategist and at this brief moment he began looking for a weak link.

His search was successful for he found a lavender haired girl leaving her position open to stalk a certain silver haired Sensei evidently undeterred by the morning's humiliation. It sickened him to an extent, how enthusiastic she was despite all events.

Ginpachi-sensei was absorbed in his very 'lollied' candy and was unaware of the hell which was closing in on him.

Hijikata grinned despite himself. There was something about that man that he inherently loathed.

Kagura was unnerved by Hijikata's grin. It was too dark, too evil.

"Toushi!" she yelled, looking to rile him up, "Are you going to keep grinning like an idiot or are you going to play ball?"

He gritted his teeth.

"I said it before, _just throw it_!"

She put a lot more force into this one. She pitched it with the aim of burning the baseball right through that pitiful bat.

It didn't work.

Hijikata swung the bat hard, driving it right over where Sa-chan was supposed to be on guard. Kagura cursed silently just as an idiot outfielder attempted to catch a ball easily sailing metres above her.

"HAMUKO! Stop doing that you moron!" She shouted finally losing her cool.

Hamuko stopped running and turned to face her.

"My name is Kimiko, not Hamuko!" she shouted back angrily.

For Hijikata, the rest of the conversation dissolved. He concentrated on the ball. He didn't run, he didn't catch any bases, he just stared at the ball.

"HOME RUN!" Matsudaira concurred just as the ball cleared the bat cage. As an added bonus for Toushi, the ball smacked his silver haired sensei right in his head.

Hijikata grinned again, suddenly yearning for a smoke.

He may have won this brief personal battle with the crazy pitcher but ultimately, thanks to their dismal score, the boys lost the match.

As Otae and the other team members lifted Kagura in the air, she sighed happily. It was turning out to be a damn good day.

* * *

><p>Sougo was only slightly pissed off. She had won against his gender, his (somewhat) friends. It was right before lunch time that he decided to concoct a plan.<p>

It involved stealing her lunch.

It was hardly sophisticated but holding food hostage was probably the best way to get to her.

So he did it. He sneaked into the locker room allotted to 3-Z and having memorized her combination, he opened the one belonging to her. The stench of sukonbu enveloped his senses and he fought the urge to snap the locker shut. Who knew she had such an elaborate (albeit, accidental) security mechanism in place?

Undeterred, he found an absurdly large lunch box. On opening it, he encountered monstrous onigiri, ones larger than his face.

He blinked twice, then shut the box and silently accepted defeat.

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><p>He wasn't a coward, Okita Sougo. More like he was pragmatic. He gave up on his previous idea because it seemed to make no sense to waste so much energy on containing her sustenance only to get so little back.<p>

See? This was practicality at work.

He sighed – evidently his motivation speech on himself hadn't worked.

The next step in his terrorist-like hostage-holding frenzy was her precious umbrella.

The attempt immediately failed for she happened to have a death grip on it as she slept through their afternoon class delivered by Ginpachi-sensei in a lazy monotone.

After that was her oversized pet. It was as much of a monster as she was.

Sougo had the uncanny capability to make humans submit to his whim – seeing as to how most of them were hopelessly weak willed, it was easy. Just ask the adorable Urara-chan from class 3-Y. She wouldn't admit it outright but he had had her under a spell of some sort at one time, one which convinced her that he was her master and her sole purpose of existence was to serve and cater to his capriciousness. The poor girl was still in therapy after what he'd put her through.

To him, animals seemed easier. They had hardly any brain matter to speak of so putting them under his thumb was, theoretically, easier.

Or so he thought.

Her dog, or Sadaharu as she preferred to call him (he held a moment of silence for the unfortunate name she had bestowed on the beast), proved to be inexorable.

"Come on, _Sadaharu_," he insisted, waving a treat before the growling mutt, "Come with me."

As could be predicted, Sadaharu was untrusting of this strange man. More than that, the dog was wary of the tone the sandy-haired individual was using.

"Come here, boy." Sougo's voice was, as he perceived, calm and beckoning.

To Sadaharu, it sounded as if the person before him wanted to push him into an endless crevasse and then fill the hole with cement. Maybe it was that evil glint in his eyes. So, Sadaharu employed his best defensive tactic.

He chewed on his enemy's skull till he heard an audible, satiating 'crunch'.

Needless to say, Sougo passed out due to blood loss.

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><p>She carried him to the infirmary when she discovered Sadaharu slobbering all over his unconscious body. He was gripping a bone in his hands, probably a treat for her pet. She allowed herself a small smile at his action, laughed at his pitiful state then reprimanded her dog.<p>

"Sadaharu, don't go around drooling on people like that!"

Her stern voice made the dog let out a long, drawn out whine followed by pawing at the ground. Sadaharu couldn't understand why his mistress didn't get that the man was bad news.

"I'll be right back, okay?"

He lowered his head and offered a half-hearted bark as a retort. She had misunderstood him again. How he wished that animal translator device was back.

She patted him fondly, knowing she couldn't remain mad at him for long.

Carrying her arch nemesis was hardly a tough task. It was carrying him while avoiding staining her clothes with his blood that was hard. The bite marks originated from his cranium which in turn led to rivulets of crimson liquid flowing down his face.

Bite marks…

Bite…

…marks.

With that incriminating knowledge, Kagura moved faster. She neared the infirmary, glad that there was little traffic here. Unceremoniously dumping him on an empty bed, she thanked god again that the nurse in charge wasn't present either. To take a shorter escape route, she jumped from the second floor window.

As she hurried away, leaving bits of tile from where she had roughly landed, she vowed that in this attempted murder case, she and her innocent pet knew absolutely nothing.

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><p>Sougo awoke only to find Kondo weeping, his tears seeping into his shirt.<p>

"Why did he have to go? HE WAS SO YOUNG!"

He blinked twice. Then Hijikata did what he had been dying to do.

"He's not dead." He said, smacking the back of his friend's head with much force, "Stop mourning him, Kondo-san."

Kondo cries quietened to weak sniffles lest he be attacked a second time by the mayonnaise lover. He had already spent the first half of the day completely knocked out, he didn't need that again.

"Yes, Kondo-san, I am alive."

Sougo quickly regretted his decision to speak when Kondo wrapped him in his signature bear hug with a loud "SOOOUGGOOO!". Hijikata, irritated at the 'family reunion', turned to leave. Kondo immediately turned around, twisting Sougo's body.

"_Okaa-san_, why are you leaving us?"

"Why am I the _Okaa-san_?" Hijikata was furious now, "I am not a part of your stupid family, Kondo!"

"Can't you see that our precious child is hurt?" Kondo presented Sougo before him just as Sougo decided to play along.

"_Okaa-chan_," he said in his cutesiest tone, "Don't go. Sougo feels very lonely without you."

Hijikata took a moment to decide – baseball bat or shinai? He chose the former since it would probably hurt more.

"_Okaa-san_, what are you doing?" Kondo asked Hijikata, warily eyeing the baseball bat which was held over his head. Sougo took this as a cue to leave.

"Kondo, I'm going to kill you!"

"Toushi, I was just joking! Come on, OW! Stop hitting me!"

Sougo knew that those hits probably didn't hurt that much – that Otae hit him harder than that. He snuck out to the hallway and felt his head gingerly. Normal people would have died from that bite, their skulls crushed but this was Sougo. He only thrived in this condition, letting the feeling permeate through him, the pain bringing him joy.

Discarding his bandages, he pulled out his trusty journal. To a lengthy list he added a name right below 'Lunch lady who served me mayonnaise that one time'.

"I'm going to kill you one day, stupid dog."

* * *

><p>Seeing as to how it had been an absurdly good day for her, Kagura decided to push her luck a little.<p>

Munching on one of her enormous handcrafted onigiri, she moved towards his locker. She had the number memorized – for comeuppance purposes. Usually she couldn't remember things of greater importance but this six digit combination, she had immediately committed to memory. She didn't bother thinking any deeper – she already disliked the conclusion she would come to.

Gleefully, she opened the locker as the aluminium groaned under the force she was putting on it.

She frowned briefly. Human made things were always too delicate.

She returned her attention to the task at hand. She loved looking into his personal possessions. She could always find things that gave her a deeper insight into his twisted persona. At the moment, the top half of the locker was filled with books beyond their school level, a few light reads (such as the English translation of War & Peace) and two issues of Jump. If there was any porn, he hid it well. She didn't care to look through those, though. She had no business there.

Before she could move to the bottom half, her eyes paused on a photograph in the forefront – the Sadist and his sister. She smiled at his expression as his sister clutched on to his arm, that adorable look of confusion and embarrassment. It was one of the reasons she had gotten up close and extremely personal with Mitsuba _Onee-san_. That and the endless number of sukonbu flavoured ice cream sundaes she was willing to provide her from the kitchen of the maid café where she worked.

He was a completely different person in front of his sister. He was polite, easily ashamed and a perpetual shy smile graced his face. Not to mention, he had his own table at that café. For some reason, Hijikata tended to tag along with him _very_ often. She grinned unconsciously when she recalled how flustered Toushi got whenever _onee-san_ would approach their table in her short and cute maid uniform and address them as 'Master'.

Toushi, as manly as he pretended to be, was like a love struck girl in front of Mitsuba.

Still smiling, she moved on to the latter half of the locker.

Expectantly, there was a varied cache of S&M gear (almost rivalling Sa-chan's collection) – handcuffs, whips and ties amongst the other paraphernalia she doesn't even care to identify. There was a spare shinai, a basketball, a catcher's mitt, his ridiculous eye patterned maroon sleep mask, a red jersey, extra clothes, bazooka ammunition and finally _that_.

She scooped it up quickly and shut the locker door carefully, without a sound. Throwing it in her bag, she ran to the nearest ladies room.

* * *

><p>Checking quickly for any signs of life and finding none, she barricaded herself into a stall.<p>

She withdrew her latest prize and thanked god once again for her winning streak.

It was a shirt. His shirt. His very unglamorous shirt.

She hugged it happily all the same. It was a limited edition 'Superman' shirt (or 'Super Sougo' as he often insisted) which he tended to wear with alarming regularity. One couldn't find this anymore and so she insisted on breaking into his sacred stash. She conveniently ignored that only thing 'limited edition' about this particular shirt was the words 'Limited Edition' embossed on its tag.

Quickly discarding her red sports jacket and untidily stuffing it in her bag, she pulled the shirt over her head. It matched her pleated skirt and bright red stockings perfectly yet she felt something off. Unsure of the cause, she tried something stupid and unorthodox.

She took off her sailor uniform's top half and then slid into the shirt.

Maybe it was the thought of her violating his precious possession by letting it directly touch her skin. Whatever it was, she felt absolute glee. That feeling of her scent infusing with his musky & spicy one was heady. She took another whiff from the cloth by drawing the round neck to her nose. Who would have thought that the Sadist smelt so good?

She shook the thought from her head immediately. Did she say good? No, that was obviously the alien virus from his shirt affecting her.

She did not bother to point out to her conscience that she still hadn't taken it off.

Abandoning her current position, she was briefly glad that no one was here. She admired herself in the mirror – she looked good. The shirt was only a tad loose but it was comfortable. She bit her lip, assessing her appearance. She shook her hair out of their ornaments and put the bun holders back in her bag. When she put her sports jacket back on, she grinned at her reflection – perfection.

She pranced off joyfully, looking for a strenuous activity. She would sweat into that stupid shirt of his till it was marked as hers.

* * *

><p>Sougo had tried to find another way to annoy her but his blinding headache had gotten to him. It was a pitiful end for the poor boy. He sighed, momentarily running a hand through his hair and judging the damage. Aside from the deep bite marks he didn't find any.<p>

It had turned into four o' clock faster than he could comprehend.

He sighed again. It was his turn to cook dinner and he had to get home in time. He was always happy when he had to cook their meals – not because he liked to cook but because like this he could ensure that their food did not corrode their insides from its spiciness.

Not that he ever complained when Mitsuba cooked. He didn't even roll his eyes when she would empty an entire canister of red chilli powder into her already scorching dish complaining it was too mild. He wouldn't even defend his plate when she would add some of the condiment into it to 'enhance' it. He just sat there and ate it like a man, all the while controlling his imminent tears.

It was almost dangerous, his fierce sister complex.

At this moment, however, his sister complex flared up again – something in his locker was off. He checked the top half which seemed to be untouched. When assessing the bottom half, he silently took inventory.

Noticing his pile of extra clothes slightly off-kilter, he adjusted it. His hand paused mid fold when he realized that his shirt was missing. His eyes narrowed. Sure he may have held this particular shirt in high esteem by flaunting its 'limited edition' status to the masses but in reality he loved it because it had been a gift from his beloved _Ane-ue_ when she'd gotten her first pay check.

He withdrew his trusty bazooka. He would've gone on a crazy rampant carnage too had he not spotted something on the ground. A strand of hair, in that unmistakeable shade of vermilion.

He packed his things and then sprinted. That stupid girl was going to get it.

Just as soon as he figured out what precisely 'it' was.

* * *

><p>She was sitting by the river bank that Ginpachi-sensei frequented on his well worn scooter lost in her thoughts as Sadaharu frolicked in the water, scaring the fishes. Maybe he would pass by and she could wrangle a free meal out of him all the while blackmailing him. Of course the term 'meal' here was used loosely since for her 'meal' meant a twenty person buffet.<p>

Food. The word made her mouth water. She hadn't eaten in almost an hour. Not to mention she had taken about ten laps around school and raced Sadaharu to this place. She was sweaty from her run… she was almost tempted to jump into the water.

Almost on cue, her enormous pet sprayed her with droplets playfully.

She was halfway on her way to return the favour when a low whooshing sound caught her ears. Reflexively, she rolled to her left, avoiding the projectile. She had heard that sound a million times and she knew precisely _who_ was trying to kill her… _again_. She picked up her parasol and her well practiced defiant look took its place on her face.

"You crazy monster bitch."

His voice was low and murderous as he wielded his precious bazooka. She had heard it enough times to know that it was her turn to taunt him.

"What's the matter, Sadist?" she said, patronizing him, "_Lose something_?"

Her words dripped with meaning and sure enough he stared at her intensely. She would be lying if she said that those crimson orbs didn't make her feel unpleasantly _scanned_.

"That's my shirt." He levelled the bazooka with her face.

"Looks better on me, doesn't it?"

His eyes raked over her body once again and she felt that strange chill down her spine again. It was her fault for provoking him into looking. She decided to push Providence to its edge once again, fully knowing that She would probably not assist her this time around.

"Besides, its _drenched_ after my run so really, it's _mine_."

"Take it off."

She hadn't noticed him move… maybe because she was too busy gloating. But here he was, just close enough to press the business end of his weapon to the side of her head. Sadaharu was too busy playing to growl at this young man threatening his mistress. Her grip on her parasol tightened and she was ready to wield it when required.

"Really Sadist, you think I don't see through your paper-thin ploy?" she jeered at him. Fluttering her eyelashes idiotically, she looked at him, "Still have a crush on me, don't you?"

To his credit, he was far from flustered. She heard a click and her Yato impulses shot into overdrive. She ducked, avoiding bazooka fire (it wouldn't have beheaded her, but to her the concussion was uncalled for) and swiped at his ankles, essentially sweeping him off his feet. Quickly, she pinned him to the ground using a knee, the tip of her parasol in his face.

"That's really no way to treat a lady you love." She chided.

He glared at her but it immediately morphed into a smirk. Confused, her grip slackened.

Providence, she is a fickle mistress.

He sharply jabbed the bazooka he was still holding on to right on to her dominant wrist and the parasol flew right out of her hands. He would've shot at her again but he seemed to have other plans. Almost immediately, the tables were turned.

It wasn't the weight of his body on her that bothered her, rather it was _him_. Him and his stupid superior grin.

She scowled, all retorts driven from her body.

He grinned shamelessly at having bested her.

It had happened countless of times when he would pin her like this… her natural reaction was to drive her two feet right into his solar plexus, kicking him off of her. But right now, she was hit – hit with that curious scent of him. If the shirt was bad, the real thing was about a thousand times more potent.

"What's the matter, China?" he mocked her this time, evidently having felt her stiffen beneath him. She cursed herself – obviously evil such as him exuded paralysing potions which rendered people useless.

* * *

><p>Sougo hadn't actually planned on this, uh… <em>compromising<em> position.

Like accidental kisses in (badly written) shoujo manga, it had just _happened_.

It was only when this new development had occurred that he realized something, he really didn't care for revenge against her for all of today's humiliations. He was inwardly amused – nothing beat the rush of holding something personal like this above her head to torture her.

Case in point, torture.

She had invoked that overused sentence, the same one which said that he had some romantic interest in her. It was an absolutely hilarious declaration – he couldn't stand her in the least. It was at that instance that a plan had materialized in his warped mind. He wasn't entirely unsure if it would work but feeling her stiffen under his weight had boosted his confidence a notch.

Like he had been dying to do all this time, he grabbed her hair (that soft, wonderfully scented hair) and tugged at it viciously. She let out a grunt of annoyance which immediately dissolved just as he nibbled and sucked at her jugular.

"What the hell are you doing?" she demanded in an angry tone, her pale skin having reddened.

The smile he returned to her was an unsettling one.

"You know, China, you're right. I really can't keep my hands off of you."

He admired his handiwork. Her skin was bruised from his assault on it. He was quite sure this mark he'd bestowed on her wouldn't be hidden by makeup.

He forgot to take into account two things:

She didn't actually use makeup

Yato had inhuman healing powers

She was undeniably flustered at his attention. He grinned sadistically, wondering just how far he could take this.

"Why so red?" he taunted in turn, "Could it be…"

Her eyes were wide with the revelation about to happen.

"Do you return my _feelings_?"

The last word was emphasized sarcastically. She caught on to it, her azure irises flashing.

"Seriously, Sadist, I don't think creatures like you have feelings."

"Actually aliens like _you_ shouldn't." he countered, "And yet, here we are."

"What's with the _'here we are'_?" she mimicked him awfully, "It was you who initiated this, you ass."

"Really? So why do _you_ happen to be wearing my shirt?"

She faltered for a moment, he saw it in her eyes. Never one to give up, she shot back.

"I like it, that's why!"

"That's lame, even for you."

Their bickering stopped when he thought to try something different. He was looking at her with that very concentrated gaze, it was so strong it made the girl squirm. He was obviously delighted till she decided to retort.

"Oi, what's up with that look?"

She shut up again when he moved closer, inspecting her face thoroughly – admiring that flawless skin, those haunting ocean eyes, the pert little nose…

"What… you looking to _kiss_ me?" she replied, her voice a mixture of disgust and contempt. He grinned when he inspected just how 'disgusted' she was – her irregular breath patterns betrayed her. He remembered then, the shirt. It had been about the shirt. For the shirt's sake, he decided he was going to reclaim it on his own terms.

That was really the only explanation when he ran his thumb across a sliver of exposed skin right above her skirt.

That was also when he came to understand why so much stress had been put on the word _drenched_.

His smirk grew broader just as goose bumps broke across her skin.

He didn't really care about the shirt at that moment. He'd get it back later, when he would break into the house (no, _dojo_) she shared with the Shimura siblings. He made a mental note to ask Kondo-san for all secret passageways. Maybe he'd lure the Mayora in as well, using _Ane-ue_ as bait.

He snorted internally. Maybe he'd just blackmail Yamazaki into doing it.

* * *

><p>At this moment, Kagura was regretting tempting Fate.<p>

It had led to _this_, molestation by one unbalanced Sadist.

He was currently hovering over her. All brain function had left her. It was the only reason she could give why she hadn't thrown him off of her yet and then proceeded to pummel him till his pretty face was unrecognizable.

She apologized to Mitsuba _onee-san_ in advance in case at some point her normal activities resumed.

Getting back to the crazed individual above her, Kagura stared back. She immediately wished she hadn't for those stupid eyes of his were _still_ on her. Paralysis beam, she called that intense gaze. Because why else was she letting this happen?

She didn't think it was possible he closed their gap till mere inches remained between their faces. All of a sudden it became unbearably hot just as she squeaked involuntarily. The worst was going to happen, she just knew it.

"If you really think I am going to take you right now…" he whispered, a wolfish grin evident. She swore she could see fangs.

She was breathing too hard. She couldn't control her bodily functions. She really didn't want him to see just how vulnerable she was. His grin told her he already knew.

He whiffed at her hair. She didn't know she could go any stiffer but she did just that as soon as she felt his hot breath on her ear.

His voice was silky smooth.

"…then you're sorely mistaken, China."

And just like that he got up and walked away.

* * *

><p><strong>OmakeAlternate Ending:**

* * *

><p>She felt incensed at his stupid teasing rejection and decided to tackle it the only way she could.<p>

"You stupid brat, COME BACK HERE!" her shout echoed, goading the sadistic bastard to settle this face to face.

When she heard nothing but satisfied laughter, her anger went up another notch.

"Sadaharu…"

The summon was a quiet. The hulking canine instantly made his presence known, fangs bared.

"…KILL HIM!"

The dog complied almost immediately. If anybody would've watched carefully, they could've sworn an honest to goodness grin appeared on his face just before he lunged onto his target.

Five minutes later, the pet and his mistress had disappeared leaving in their wake only a photographic evidence of what had taken place here. Her foot on his sandy head, she christened this picture 'Victory No. 327'.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I was unsure whether I wanted Sougo to win or not before this thought came to my mind. So I just put my silly reimagining in an omake. Hope you all enjoyed it! Um… REVIEW? I'd really like to know what you guys thought of that. (No, really, it has NOTHING to do with boosting my overinflated ego.) ^3^**

**Thanks for reading! ^-^ **


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